Home for the Holidays

25 Dec

Merry Christmas everyone.  It’s been a weird holiday this year, but fun.  My sister and I were both at our mom’s for the holiday.  Dad passed away some years ago, and mom lives by herself now.  Sis and I went over to moms, opened presents and had a fun time!  We laughed a lot, and had a girlie afternoon at the nail salon and then caught that movie Tangled, with Mandy Moore.

It’s fabulously fantastic!  So. Much. Fun.  Made me laugh.  Even made me cry a touch.  Me and my sis came home, had a little glass of wine, and now I’m heading to bed early.

Cozy and merry.

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It’s Okay to Stare

10 Dec

I’ve always heard people say to their kids: “Don’t stare honey, it’s not polite.”

I beg to differ.  Look.  It’s okay. In fact, take me in.  See that I’m not quite like you, and understand: that’s all right.  God didn’t make us all the same.  He made us in all shapes and sizes, and if you don’t understand that, I feel bad for you. I truly do. I feel like people who laugh at others just for a laugh is pretty darn sad.

Mom told me when I was growing up that kids made fun of me because they were jealous. As I get older, I realize people aren’t jealous.  They’re mean.

Right now, there’s this whole campaign out – It Gets Better – aimed at young gay kids from adults encouraging them that it gets better. It does get better, but only when you accept who you are. Some people don’t want to accept they’re fat.  Some people try to lose weight and can’t. Some people try to gain weight and can’t. Really, I know people who have the metabolism of a jackrabbit on speed.  People have different genetics, just like skin color, just like eye color, just like sexual preference.  We’re all different in wonderful ways.

I’m fat. That’s clear. I’ve lost hundreds of pounds, and I’ll never be a size 4. Heck…I probably won’t ever get down to a 16!  All I wanted from this was to be able to move again, ride on a plane, and meet new people.  I’m doing that.  And, I believe I’ll be doing that again for many years to come.

So, look at me.  See me.  Know that what you see is what you get. Fat and all.

Body Love Wellness

14 Nov

I’ve just discovered Golda Poretsky’s wonderful blog, Body Love Wellness,  promoting HAES.  She writes about current events and posts podcasts supporting Fat Acceptance, and she teaches classes, like “How to Feel Sexy at Any Size”.  She is the epitome of a fabulous woman shedding the shame of being fat.

Her most recent podcast speaks to the newest “theories” that fat is “contagious.”  LOL!!  Seriously, there are doctors out there spreading this fiction to confuse the public and fool it into believing falsities so they can push their diet fads and prejudices.

She talks about the kiss ins, like the virtual one I mentioned a few weeks back – but these are in public places for all to enjoy!  It’s a fantastic way for us to show we’re proud, we’re fat, and we love just like anyone else!

Just don’t get too close…you might catch it!  Catch the love, that is…LOL…!

HAES Surgeon General

4 Nov

This is amazing.  I first saw this over at Big Fat Deal.  Our Surgeon General advocates Health at Every Size (HAES)!

Vice Admiral Regina M. Benjamin, MD, MBA

In one of her very first posts about changing the discussion, she says:

Too often, the national discussion is a negative one focusing on obesity and illness. I want to change this conversation from a negative one about obesity and illness to a positive one about being healthy and staying fit. We need to stop bombarding Americans with messages about what they can’t have and what they can’t eat. We need to make exercise activities fun, “something people will enjoy, something they want to do, such as playing sports, swimming, or simply taking a walk or going dancing just because they enjoy it.

This is the thing – activity doesn’t mean stepping onto a treadmill and working yourself to the bone.  Unless you enjoy it.  I recently heard someone say they just wanted to be able to walk a 5K.  That doesn’t sound like fun at ALL to me.  Walking without going anywhere seems pointless.  And there’s not many places in Toledo I want to walk.  I do go to the park and walk around there.  It’s relaxing.

My sister does yoga and Zumba.  That works for her.  Truth be told, she probably exercises more than she needs to, but she enjoys doing it (I think!).

I love to swim!  When I was at Brookstone, the very first kind of movement I did was swimming.  It’s relaxing, too.  It’s hard work, but I love how the water feels around my body.  It’s lovely.  This is where I go swimming.

Find what works for you.  That’s all I think is the most important part of being healthy.  If you hate what you’re doing to be active, do something else.  But do something.  I know some may disagree with me, but it’s the best way to stay healthy, even if you’re not losing weight.

I’m done dieting, but I’ll never be done moving.

BFB Virtual Kiss In!

29 Oct

Over at the Big Fat Blog, Paul McAleer celebrates kissing.  It’s a beautiful tribute to love in many forms – parental love, romantic love, sexy love and silly love.  It’s perfect.

When me and Noel would kiss in public, we’d get dirty looks from people all the time.  Like we shouldn’t be together.  If Noel fed me in public, people would be especially mean.  I’ve written before about how I was called names on my wedding day.  People don’t care.  They really don’t

Fatty. Piggy.  Porker.  People actually say these things.  I tried to get on the bus the other day, and this guy shoved his way off the bus shouting, “Out of my way, Piggy.”  If I were a black person, and he said, “Out of my way *igger,” people would have been in an uproar.  No one would stand for it.  But people make fat jokes or call fat people names – to their faces – and that’s “okay”.

There’s truly an imbalance in how fat people are viewed in this country.  The amount of shame that fat kids amass before we’re even teenagers is depressing.  People need to stop calling our kids names.  It makes for acceptable adult behavior, and loving couples don’t feel comfortable giving each other a little smootch every now and then.

End the shame.   Fat PDA for all!

To All the Haters

2 Oct

There have been a mixed bag of reactions to me starting this blog here, and I need to clarify a few things:

1. I am not anti-feederism.  I am not pro-feederism.  I am pro-me.  I am living my life the way I will live it, and this is my choice.  You may have another choice.  You may not feel like you have a choice.  To me, this is the most important thing to realize: people live how they live because of many factors.  Nature or nurture.  It’s a toss up which is stronger.  It’s clear both are a factor.  Most people can’t really change the first.  And, the latter is a *itch to tackle.  Some habits take a lifetime to alter.

2. For the many of you asking: No, I haven’t spoken to Noel yet.  I know many of you are friends of ours (his), and you think I screwed him.  If you know me, you know that wasn’t my intention.  I never wanted to hurt any of my friends in the feederism community, and I most definitely didn’t mean to hurt Noel.  I made a big decision over a year ago, and it’s changed my life.  I’m just now seeing how I could have made better choices.
Hindsight = 20/20

3. If you don’t like what I’m writing about here, you don’t have to read.  I’m not going to post pictures of myself.  That isn’t me anymore.  If, on the other hand, you wish to create a new community supporting fat people, fat acceptance and fight prejudice, I’m here.  Join me.

Sorry if I’m a bit curt in this post, but I just can’t stand it when people tell me I don’t have good intentions.  People don’t know what my intentions are.  Keep reading, and you’ll figure it out.

My New Blog

24 Sep

Some of you may have seen the video blog I posted in response to Judith Angel’s inflammatory television production featuring me and my husband, Noel Spencer.

What you saw was a lie.

Yes, that was me.  Yes, obviously, they didn’t coax me to say anything.  But, it was all edited and taken out of context.  The episode made it to look like I was some sort of trapped animal that Noel fed like a pet.

I’ve posted several outtakes of the video here on my YouTube page for you to see the real things I said.  Please, check them out, and know that my feelings for Noel were deep and true.

Feederism isn’t necessarily about becoming the biggest person in the world.  Most feeders and feedees are normal everyday people.  Lawyers, accountants, and even doctors enjoy a good stuffing and derive pleasure from it.  What’s wrong with that?  Nothing, I say.

My deal is I was immobile, and I wanted to move again.  I wanted to feel like I did when I was 300 pounds.  Some people gasp when I say 300 pounds is a good weight.  For some people, it IS!  For some people, that’s the only weight they can be.  That’s how they are made.

Many people who read jessennoel.blogspot.com may be reading this, and I want to thank you.  I won’t be writing about feederism here.  My journey isn’t that path anymore.  I’m on a new path.  I don’t know where that path will take me, but I hope you’ll join me for it.