Go West Young Woman

Last weekend, Dan Savage, who writes for Slog, wrote a “satirical” post as a response to an Iowa senator using old, debunked statistics in an attempt to take down gay marriage in the buckeye state.

To do this, Dan suggests:

Iowa should ban fat marriage. There are, according to the state of Iowa, more than 1.4 million obese people living in Iowa. That’s nearly 30% of the state’s population, and those numbers just keep rising. The social costs of Iowa’s obesity epidemic are pretty staggering—and those costs include including premature death and lower average life expectancies for Iowans.

Lindy West, a fatastic, fabulous blogger, who also writes for Slog, responded with great thoughts as to why Dan is (and always has been) a fatty hater.

Then Dan responds, reprimanding Lindy for cherry picking offensive quotes from his past articles.  Yet, he is guilty of the same thing in his post about gay marriage.  He cites an article that is based on a 2007 study covered on the BBC about weight gain being “contagious.”  I’ve already stated my thoughts on that ludicrous assertion here, but Dan’s misuse of this article and reconstruction of his own blogging history is what is most disheartening.

Another egregious misstep Dan makes is not addressing or condemning fatty haters who comment to his blog posts all throughout.  If he truly wanted to show he isn’t prejudice against fat people, he would defend us.  Instead, he response to Lindy by doing his own cherry-picking from past articles “proving” he isn’t prejudice.  And, he disables comments!  What a wuss.

Here’s an example of a comment of hate:

I don’t care, fat people are A.) expensive and 2.) SO annoying when sitting next to one any airplane. Christ, MUST you all breath SO loud?! I know you just walked 200 yards in short bursts which is more exercise than probably your collective life, but JESUS H, STFU. It’s like sitting next to Vader.

AND

Back in 2004, Dan reacted to the angry responses with snide remarks.

One woman stated:

I stand a glorious five foot two and weigh a beautiful 450 pounds. My fellow sisters and I apologize to no one for our looks. We were born this way. THE HATE MUST STOP!

Dan’s response?

First off, you were born five foot two, 450 pounds? Did your mother burst like a seedpod?

Next to this particular column sits a disgusting cartoon portraying a 450 pound baby bursting out of her mother.  It is anti-fat, anti-woman and anti-fellow human being.

Basically, I’m calling bull*hit, Dan.

You put up old arguments that don’t hold water, and when you play the “I was a fat kid card,” you demean all those kids who couldn’t lose the weight because of genetics.  You are not one of us Dan.  Your stance on issues of weight is full of vitriol and resentment.

Dan, the obvious antipathy you have for fat people feels personally motivated. I wonder if you chide your inner child by lashing out against we who weren’t able to grow out of our baby fat.

There’s a big debate right now about we who blog about fat acceptance. Commenters and other bloggers think I’m pushing fat to be the norm. On the contrary, I am pushing for you to be you. If you’re thin, be thin. If you’re fat, be fat. But, don’t let someone stigmatize you for it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, I don’t need to have other people telling me what is good or bad for my body (thank you very much, Judith Angel). You don’t live in this body. I do. Only I know how I feel emotionally, physically, and spiritually. How I live is between me and my God. You don’t have to understand it. Just accept it.

Far be it from me to push how I live on others. I said this about feederism, and I’ll say it about my current lifestyle – different strokes for different folks.

I do consider myself an activist. This is where the two become one. When I present myself as a Fat Activist, that means I’m advocating for anyone who has been called names, been turned down from a job because they’re too big, or seen any other kind of prejudice because of weight. I’m encouraging people to be healthy at any size.

Heath at Every Size (HAES) is an amazing way of viewing life. It’s about being healthy and heavy. Yes, you can be. It doesn’t mean you have to lose those 10 pounds, if you’re active and eating well. Some people can’t shed the pounds. That’s how they’re made.

Basic Principles of Health At Every SizeSM

1. Accepting and respecting the diversity of body shapes and sizes.

2. Recognizing that health and well-being are multi-dimensional and that they include
physical, social, spiritual, occupational, emotional, and intellectual aspects.

3. Promoting all aspects of health and well-being for people of all sizes.

4. Promoting eating in a manner which balances individual nutritional needs, hunger,
satiety, appetite, and pleasure.

5. Promoting individually appropriate, enjoyable, life-enhancing physical activity, rather
than exercise that is focused on a goal of weight loss.

So do I want to be accepted for who I am? Heck, yeah. And, I’m going to advocate for that acceptance.

It’s Okay to Stare

I’ve always heard people say to their kids: “Don’t stare honey, it’s not polite.”

I beg to differ.  Look.  It’s okay. In fact, take me in.  See that I’m not quite like you, and understand: that’s all right.  God didn’t make us all the same.  He made us in all shapes and sizes, and if you don’t understand that, I feel bad for you. I truly do. I feel like people who laugh at others just for a laugh is pretty darn sad.

Mom told me when I was growing up that kids made fun of me because they were jealous. As I get older, I realize people aren’t jealous.  They’re mean.

Right now, there’s this whole campaign out – It Gets Better – aimed at young gay kids from adults encouraging them that it gets better. It does get better, but only when you accept who you are. Some people don’t want to accept they’re fat.  Some people try to lose weight and can’t. Some people try to gain weight and can’t. Really, I know people who have the metabolism of a jackrabbit on speed.  People have different genetics, just like skin color, just like eye color, just like sexual preference.  We’re all different in wonderful ways.

I’m fat. That’s clear. I’ve lost hundreds of pounds, and I’ll never be a size 4. Heck…I probably won’t ever get down to a 16!  All I wanted from this was to be able to move again, ride on a plane, and meet new people.  I’m doing that.  And, I believe I’ll be doing that again for many years to come.

So, look at me.  See me.  Know that what you see is what you get. Fat and all.