5 Mar

Sending love from sunny Jamaica!  Having such a good time…

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A Note of Support from Noel Spencer

2 Mar

After a long, long time, yesterday, I saw Noel for the first time.  It was a little tough, but in the end, it was great to see him again.  We had the best talk, and resolved a bit.  Closure.  It’s good.

One thing we spoke about was this blog and how old friends from the feederism world are angry about my appearance on Judith Angel’s The Angel Hour.  Noel offered to show support for me.  He just posted a statement on his blog linkstobeauty.tumblr.com, and I’ve added it below.

I’m in Jamaica now, and I’m taking a few days off!  See ya on the flip side…


Much has been said about my relationship with Jesse Marie Scott.  Let me be clear: I hold no ill will or resentment toward Jesse.  I hear many of you in the feederism community are sending angry emails and posting vindictive comments on her blog.  I’m asking you publicly to cease these actions immediately.

Judith Angel manipulated the video footage of Jesse for her show “The Fed, The Dead,” and what you saw is not what Jesse intended the world to see.  This television show hurt Jesse and me in more ways than you can imagine, and we both wish to move on.

People often write and ask about my current relationship.  I no longer speak about my personal life in public. I respect privacy of others, and I ask people to respect my privacy, too.

Please, respect Jesse.  She is working hard to move on with her life after the slander Judith

Visit Jesse at jessemariescott.wordpress.com

With Warmth,

Noel Spencer

Fat Health – Don’t Believe the Hype

27 Feb

Doctors can be such ***holes.  Not all, but many are insensitive and have bad bedside manners.  They don’t know how to talk to fat people because they aren’t fat, they have no perspective, and they compromise their scruples because of money the diet industry pumps into their pockets. The only thing worse than the diet industry is the insurance industry.  Many doctors are puppets of these two industries.  What happened to the oaths doctors took  to make people healthier?  Instead, doctors work to prop up corporate powers that make it more difficult to be happy and healthy.

There aren’t enough doctors out there who care for the health of their patients.  Doctors push lapbands for people who don’t even need it.  As reported by Big Fat Blog, “the government just lowered the approved BMI for people in the 35-40 bmi range and for anyone with a 30-35 bmi and a weight-correlated condition or risk factor.”

It’s hard to know what’s accurate, but there are some great resources out there, like Fat Health.  Loads of good posts and links to help you become fully informed on how to stay healthy.

Seek out good information.  Don’t believe the hype.

Go West Young Woman

16 Feb

Last weekend, Dan Savage, who writes for Slog, wrote a “satirical” post as a response to an Iowa senator using old, debunked statistics in an attempt to take down gay marriage in the buckeye state.

To do this, Dan suggests:

Iowa should ban fat marriage. There are, according to the state of Iowa, more than 1.4 million obese people living in Iowa. That’s nearly 30% of the state’s population, and those numbers just keep rising. The social costs of Iowa’s obesity epidemic are pretty staggering—and those costs include including premature death and lower average life expectancies for Iowans.

Lindy West, a fatastic, fabulous blogger, who also writes for Slog, responded with great thoughts as to why Dan is (and always has been) a fatty hater.

Then Dan responds, reprimanding Lindy for cherry picking offensive quotes from his past articles.  Yet, he is guilty of the same thing in his post about gay marriage.  He cites an article that is based on a 2007 study covered on the BBC about weight gain being “contagious.”  I’ve already stated my thoughts on that ludicrous assertion here, but Dan’s misuse of this article and reconstruction of his own blogging history is what is most disheartening.

Another egregious misstep Dan makes is not addressing or condemning fatty haters who comment to his blog posts all throughout.  If he truly wanted to show he isn’t prejudice against fat people, he would defend us.  Instead, he response to Lindy by doing his own cherry-picking from past articles “proving” he isn’t prejudice.  And, he disables comments!  What a wuss.

Here’s an example of a comment of hate:

I don’t care, fat people are A.) expensive and 2.) SO annoying when sitting next to one any airplane. Christ, MUST you all breath SO loud?! I know you just walked 200 yards in short bursts which is more exercise than probably your collective life, but JESUS H, STFU. It’s like sitting next to Vader.


Back in 2004, Dan reacted to the angry responses with snide remarks.

One woman stated:

I stand a glorious five foot two and weigh a beautiful 450 pounds. My fellow sisters and I apologize to no one for our looks. We were born this way. THE HATE MUST STOP!

Dan’s response?

First off, you were born five foot two, 450 pounds? Did your mother burst like a seedpod?

Next to this particular column sits a disgusting cartoon portraying a 450 pound baby bursting out of her mother.  It is anti-fat, anti-woman and anti-fellow human being.

Basically, I’m calling bull*hit, Dan.

You put up old arguments that don’t hold water, and when you play the “I was a fat kid card,” you demean all those kids who couldn’t lose the weight because of genetics.  You are not one of us Dan.  Your stance on issues of weight is full of vitriol and resentment.

Dan, the obvious antipathy you have for fat people feels personally motivated. I wonder if you chide your inner child by lashing out against we who weren’t able to grow out of our baby fat.

13 Feb

Heather MacAllistar is one of my heroes.  She was the Artistic Director of The Original Fat-Bottom Revue.  She was at the forefront of the Fat Acceptance movement, and sadly she passed away of Ovarian Cancer four years ago today.  I never got to see her perform live, but her story is so inspiring and instrumental to how I feel about being sexy at any size.

Heather said:

Any time there is a fat person onstage as anything besides the butt of a joke, it’s political.  Add physical movement, then dance, then sexuality, and you have a revolutionary act.

This picture was shot by Mr. Spock, himself, Leonard Nimoy.  A few years back, Mr. Nimoy created The Full Body Project, where he photographed Heather and her burlesque troupe.  As part of his artistic statement Mr. Nimoy says:

These women are projecting an image that is their own. And one that also stems from their own story rather than mine. Their self-esteem is strong. One of them has a degree in anthropology and will tell you that ideas of beauty and sexuality are “culture bound”—that these ideas are not universal or fixed, and that they vary and fluctuate depending on place and time. They will tell you that too many people suffer because the body they live in is not the body you find in the fashion magazines.

The most important part of this statement is, “Their self-esteem is strong.” What American society does is stigmatize fat people.  This begins at a very early age.  One stigmatizes to elevate one’s own status.  It makes one feel better to put others down.  What this movement is about is empowerment.  It shows the rest of the world that we’re here, we are a part of society – not its pariahs – and you better get use to it.

22 Jan

There’s a big debate right now about we who blog about fat acceptance. Commenters and other bloggers think I’m pushing fat to be the norm. On the contrary, I am pushing for you to be you. If you’re thin, be thin. If you’re fat, be fat. But, don’t let someone stigmatize you for it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, I don’t need to have other people telling me what is good or bad for my body (thank you very much, Judith Angel). You don’t live in this body. I do. Only I know how I feel emotionally, physically, and spiritually. How I live is between me and my God. You don’t have to understand it. Just accept it.

Far be it from me to push how I live on others. I said this about feederism, and I’ll say it about my current lifestyle – different strokes for different folks.

I do consider myself an activist. This is where the two become one. When I present myself as a Fat Activist, that means I’m advocating for anyone who has been called names, been turned down from a job because they’re too big, or seen any other kind of prejudice because of weight. I’m encouraging people to be healthy at any size.

Heath at Every Size (HAES) is an amazing way of viewing life. It’s about being healthy and heavy. Yes, you can be. It doesn’t mean you have to lose those 10 pounds, if you’re active and eating well. Some people can’t shed the pounds. That’s how they’re made.

Basic Principles of Health At Every SizeSM

1. Accepting and respecting the diversity of body shapes and sizes.

2. Recognizing that health and well-being are multi-dimensional and that they include
physical, social, spiritual, occupational, emotional, and intellectual aspects.

3. Promoting all aspects of health and well-being for people of all sizes.

4. Promoting eating in a manner which balances individual nutritional needs, hunger,
satiety, appetite, and pleasure.

5. Promoting individually appropriate, enjoyable, life-enhancing physical activity, rather
than exercise that is focused on a goal of weight loss.

So do I want to be accepted for who I am? Heck, yeah. And, I’m going to advocate for that acceptance.

Happy 2011!

1 Jan

Happy New Year, one and all. I feel like the past year was a blur in many ways. For over a whole year, I haven’t had a home. The first twelve months were at Brookstone Medical as I worked to lose several hundred pounds, and the last three months I’ve been in Toledo, Ohio, staying with my sister, who also is going through major life changes.

Most people I meet talk about how they hope 2011 will be better than 2010. It’s interesting when people collectively feel pain. The past two years or so have been a collective struggle – economically, psychologically and emotionally. When times like these occur, I truly believe they are meant to bring us together. Typically, people experience pain as individuals, but these great collective struggles exist so we can have empathy for each other. If we see others’ perspectives, we treat each other better.

I’m not saying I wish there were more economic crises, wars or natural disasters, but you have to admit, when they happen, we humans band together. It doesn’t matter if you’re big, small, brown, or white – we take care of each other.

New Year’s resolutions have always felt like a bit of a joke to me, but I’m resolving to make one and take it seriously this year. In 2010, I focused on myself, but in 2011, I’m going to focus on you. Whoever you are. If you’re reading this, I’m focusing on you. I want to help you, if I can. I want to help understand your perspective better, and I want to help you realize if you are happy – truly happy – with the way you live your life, you shouldn’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you. It’s true. They can’t do you any harm.

Be safe, and Happy 2011!

Home for the Holidays

25 Dec

Merry Christmas everyone.  It’s been a weird holiday this year, but fun.  My sister and I were both at our mom’s for the holiday.  Dad passed away some years ago, and mom lives by herself now.  Sis and I went over to moms, opened presents and had a fun time!  We laughed a lot, and had a girlie afternoon at the nail salon and then caught that movie Tangled, with Mandy Moore.

It’s fabulously fantastic!  So. Much. Fun.  Made me laugh.  Even made me cry a touch.  Me and my sis came home, had a little glass of wine, and now I’m heading to bed early.

Cozy and merry.

It’s Okay to Stare

10 Dec

I’ve always heard people say to their kids: “Don’t stare honey, it’s not polite.”

I beg to differ.  Look.  It’s okay. In fact, take me in.  See that I’m not quite like you, and understand: that’s all right.  God didn’t make us all the same.  He made us in all shapes and sizes, and if you don’t understand that, I feel bad for you. I truly do. I feel like people who laugh at others just for a laugh is pretty darn sad.

Mom told me when I was growing up that kids made fun of me because they were jealous. As I get older, I realize people aren’t jealous.  They’re mean.

Right now, there’s this whole campaign out – It Gets Better – aimed at young gay kids from adults encouraging them that it gets better. It does get better, but only when you accept who you are. Some people don’t want to accept they’re fat.  Some people try to lose weight and can’t. Some people try to gain weight and can’t. Really, I know people who have the metabolism of a jackrabbit on speed.  People have different genetics, just like skin color, just like eye color, just like sexual preference.  We’re all different in wonderful ways.

I’m fat. That’s clear. I’ve lost hundreds of pounds, and I’ll never be a size 4. Heck…I probably won’t ever get down to a 16!  All I wanted from this was to be able to move again, ride on a plane, and meet new people.  I’m doing that.  And, I believe I’ll be doing that again for many years to come.

So, look at me.  See me.  Know that what you see is what you get. Fat and all.

Body Love Wellness

14 Nov

I’ve just discovered Golda Poretsky’s wonderful blog, Body Love Wellness,  promoting HAES.  She writes about current events and posts podcasts supporting Fat Acceptance, and she teaches classes, like “How to Feel Sexy at Any Size”.  She is the epitome of a fabulous woman shedding the shame of being fat.

Her most recent podcast speaks to the newest “theories” that fat is “contagious.”  LOL!!  Seriously, there are doctors out there spreading this fiction to confuse the public and fool it into believing falsities so they can push their diet fads and prejudices.

She talks about the kiss ins, like the virtual one I mentioned a few weeks back – but these are in public places for all to enjoy!  It’s a fantastic way for us to show we’re proud, we’re fat, and we love just like anyone else!

Just don’t get too close…you might catch it!  Catch the love, that is…LOL…!

HAES Surgeon General

4 Nov

This is amazing.  I first saw this over at Big Fat Deal.  Our Surgeon General advocates Health at Every Size (HAES)!

Vice Admiral Regina M. Benjamin, MD, MBA

In one of her very first posts about changing the discussion, she says:

Too often, the national discussion is a negative one focusing on obesity and illness. I want to change this conversation from a negative one about obesity and illness to a positive one about being healthy and staying fit. We need to stop bombarding Americans with messages about what they can’t have and what they can’t eat. We need to make exercise activities fun, “something people will enjoy, something they want to do, such as playing sports, swimming, or simply taking a walk or going dancing just because they enjoy it.

This is the thing – activity doesn’t mean stepping onto a treadmill and working yourself to the bone.  Unless you enjoy it.  I recently heard someone say they just wanted to be able to walk a 5K.  That doesn’t sound like fun at ALL to me.  Walking without going anywhere seems pointless.  And there’s not many places in Toledo I want to walk.  I do go to the park and walk around there.  It’s relaxing.

My sister does yoga and Zumba.  That works for her.  Truth be told, she probably exercises more than she needs to, but she enjoys doing it (I think!).

I love to swim!  When I was at Brookstone, the very first kind of movement I did was swimming.  It’s relaxing, too.  It’s hard work, but I love how the water feels around my body.  It’s lovely.  This is where I go swimming.

Find what works for you.  That’s all I think is the most important part of being healthy.  If you hate what you’re doing to be active, do something else.  But do something.  I know some may disagree with me, but it’s the best way to stay healthy, even if you’re not losing weight.

I’m done dieting, but I’ll never be done moving.

BFB Virtual Kiss In!

29 Oct

Over at the Big Fat Blog, Paul McAleer celebrates kissing.  It’s a beautiful tribute to love in many forms – parental love, romantic love, sexy love and silly love.  It’s perfect.

When me and Noel would kiss in public, we’d get dirty looks from people all the time.  Like we shouldn’t be together.  If Noel fed me in public, people would be especially mean.  I’ve written before about how I was called names on my wedding day.  People don’t care.  They really don’t

Fatty. Piggy.  Porker.  People actually say these things.  I tried to get on the bus the other day, and this guy shoved his way off the bus shouting, “Out of my way, Piggy.”  If I were a black person, and he said, “Out of my way *igger,” people would have been in an uproar.  No one would stand for it.  But people make fat jokes or call fat people names – to their faces – and that’s “okay”.

There’s truly an imbalance in how fat people are viewed in this country.  The amount of shame that fat kids amass before we’re even teenagers is depressing.  People need to stop calling our kids names.  It makes for acceptable adult behavior, and loving couples don’t feel comfortable giving each other a little smootch every now and then.

End the shame.   Fat PDA for all!

To All the Haters

2 Oct

There have been a mixed bag of reactions to me starting this blog here, and I need to clarify a few things:

1. I am not anti-feederism.  I am not pro-feederism.  I am pro-me.  I am living my life the way I will live it, and this is my choice.  You may have another choice.  You may not feel like you have a choice.  To me, this is the most important thing to realize: people live how they live because of many factors.  Nature or nurture.  It’s a toss up which is stronger.  It’s clear both are a factor.  Most people can’t really change the first.  And, the latter is a *itch to tackle.  Some habits take a lifetime to alter.

2. For the many of you asking: No, I haven’t spoken to Noel yet.  I know many of you are friends of ours (his), and you think I screwed him.  If you know me, you know that wasn’t my intention.  I never wanted to hurt any of my friends in the feederism community, and I most definitely didn’t mean to hurt Noel.  I made a big decision over a year ago, and it’s changed my life.  I’m just now seeing how I could have made better choices.
Hindsight = 20/20

3. If you don’t like what I’m writing about here, you don’t have to read.  I’m not going to post pictures of myself.  That isn’t me anymore.  If, on the other hand, you wish to create a new community supporting fat people, fat acceptance and fight prejudice, I’m here.  Join me.

Sorry if I’m a bit curt in this post, but I just can’t stand it when people tell me I don’t have good intentions.  People don’t know what my intentions are.  Keep reading, and you’ll figure it out.

My New Blog

24 Sep

Some of you may have seen the video blog I posted in response to Judith Angel’s inflammatory television production featuring me and my husband, Noel Spencer.

What you saw was a lie.

Yes, that was me.  Yes, obviously, they didn’t coax me to say anything.  But, it was all edited and taken out of context.  The episode made it to look like I was some sort of trapped animal that Noel fed like a pet.

I’ve posted several outtakes of the video here on my YouTube page for you to see the real things I said.  Please, check them out, and know that my feelings for Noel were deep and true.

Feederism isn’t necessarily about becoming the biggest person in the world.  Most feeders and feedees are normal everyday people.  Lawyers, accountants, and even doctors enjoy a good stuffing and derive pleasure from it.  What’s wrong with that?  Nothing, I say.

My deal is I was immobile, and I wanted to move again.  I wanted to feel like I did when I was 300 pounds.  Some people gasp when I say 300 pounds is a good weight.  For some people, it IS!  For some people, that’s the only weight they can be.  That’s how they are made.

Many people who read jessennoel.blogspot.com may be reading this, and I want to thank you.  I won’t be writing about feederism here.  My journey isn’t that path anymore.  I’m on a new path.  I don’t know where that path will take me, but I hope you’ll join me for it.